What Your Girlfriend Wants, But Will Never Ask For

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She wants you to touch her mindlessly while the two of you watch a movie she doesnt want that ‘Netflix and Chill touching, where the movie is clearly just a pretext to do something else. She wants you to drag your fingers lightly along her arm, in her hair, on her hand. She wants to know that you want to touch her as a matter of habit, as a reflex that just feels more right than doing nothing at all. Touching should become second nature, not always a means to an end.

She wants you to surprise her, but not with some grand gesture you saw in a movie. She doesnt need the guy lighting a hundred candles in the shape of a heart or a cheesy word, and she doesnt need to be serenaded with soft guitar music. She needs something that is romantic to just the two of you, exactly to your definition. Surprise her with a bacon egg and cheese and coffee on a Saturday morning after shes been working hard all week. Surprise her with a bar thats full of board games, so you can finally see whos actually better at Connect Four over vodka and orange soda. Pick a movie that you know she loves more than anything, even if shes already seen it a dozen times, and set up a movie night around it. Let her know that you notice the little things.

She wants you to say that you love her, at weird, random moments when no one would expect it. She wants your words to feel like a kiss on her forehead in the dark, something she can barely feel but which she absolutely needs to feel is there. She wants your love to be something fluid and effortless, not built around big moments you feel obligated to mark. Sure, there can be special events, but theres something a thousand times more heart-swoony about hearing a quiet I love you when shes got a face mask and bathrobe on, when she thinks shes at her least lovable, when its the last thing she expects.

She wants you to love her just as much in front of your friends. She wants you to kiss her cheek, to joke with you, to be the exact same way around them as he is around you. She never wants to feel like the girlfriend who has to be dragged around, like shes an anchor to all of the fun you would otherwise be having. She hears the way other guys can talk about their girlfriends when theyre not around, like their relationship is an obligation. She knows it would sound needy to ask, but she wants to know that you are never like that with her.

She wants to get a letter from you, to be surprised that you remembered something that she didnt, to hear the words I already took care of it. There is nothing more wonderful than knowing that someone else has already been putting in the thought, that you were on their mind enough to commit it to writing or make real plans. Because thats the real romance thats been dying the romance of being thoughtful, the romance of taking your time and doing things right. She doesnt want to be the thing you remember only when its late and you dont want to sleep alone. She doesnt want to be the one you come over to pretend to watch a movie with, just so you can spend a few hours in her arms. She wants to be the one you plan ahead for, the one you take a few extra minutes to make things special for. She doesnt want your money or the things you can buy her, she wants your time. She wants your attention.

She wants your patience, in a world where everyone is going way too fast.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/charlotte-green/2015/12/what-your-girlfriend-wants-but-will-never-ask-for/

15 Things Younger Siblings Dont Know Their Older Siblings Did For Them

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1. Bearing the role of being the guinea pig, and having all the strict rules enforced on them instead.

As the firstborn, you will paradoxically always be your parents’ baby. Everything they do with you, they will do with kid gloves. (Chances are good you also find the Luvs commercials as funny in that bleak, depressing, bitterly ‘why me?!’ kind of way as your parents.) No dating, no cell phone, no alcohol, God forbid no weed, and did I mention no dating? At least until you’re 18, if not married.

2. And having to watch every single rule that kept an older sibling under lock and key beunceremoniously abandoned with any subsequent offspring.

By the time your younger sibling rolls around, your parents will have learned one crucial thing: kids are going to just , and it’s honestly usually not worth the headache to try to slow them down. To the older sibling’s point of view, as long as your younger brother or sister isn’t teething on an extension cord, your parents think they’re getting the job done just fine. We put the slack on that leash for you. You’re welcome.

3. Taking the fall for for ev.er.y.thing.

Because even though you’re still a kid yourself, you should know better, or at least know enough to stave off what seems like the greatest and most imminent of disasters.

4. Not always getting the first and best of everything.

Your siblings may sometimes get your hand-me-down clothes, but you’ll be the one with the hand-me-down car that breaks down just in time for your little sibling to start driving. (Either that, or your parents will grow so tired of you griping about your ride that they’ll just cut the middleman and arrange for your sibling to have a slightly better car. Your parents will eventually capitulate, it’ll just never be in the direction you want them to.)

5. Navigating a lot of things on their own and then teaching their parents how to handle it with the younger siblings.

Even if you weren’t the first member of your family to go to college, the application process changes so much between generations that you’re going to have to try to figure out deadlines and tests and fees and processes all on your own. Chances are good you will always be the first to experience homesickness, the first to deal with hormones, the first to move away from home. And really, not having somebody who understands is going to suck a little. Older siblings do best when we find an older cousin, call them up, and hug them tight when you can. Older cousins were our surrogate sibling. They showed us the way

6. Being groomed into the family’s resident Oprah.

(No offense to Mom’s heart-to-hearts, or Dad’s chummy pep talks.) With age comes being a know-it-all, or however that saying goes. But still, you are going to be pro at wresting your way into your sibling’s room when Mom and Dad refuse to cross that barrier, perching yourself on the foot of their bed, and telling your heartbroken, devastated little sibling that this too shall pass. Because it will. (Chances are you survived whatever it is that’s crushing their world, too.) It would be cruel for you to stand idly by and not try to help ease that pain. Besides, that’s your built-in best friend who’s hurting.

7. Honing an unrivaled ability to pass judgment.

Whether it’s the new love interest your little sibling brings home, the music and fashion trends that are gripping their peers, or anything in between, you’re going to have something to say about it. (I grew up on ; my sister was raised on . Neither of us will ever see eye to eye on this, but dear God, I know in my heart of hearts that I am right, and that is all that matters.) As the older sibling, the bar you expect your younger siblings to jump is pretty high and your looks of judgment can be withering but you do this in the name of teaching them how to have standards.

8. Reliving all of the worst parts of adolescence like a torrid, perpetual Groundhog’s Day.

Whether or not they mean to, younger siblings make their older siblings revisit all of those feelings of puppy love and heartbreak, bad grades and bullying. The scars of adolescence run deep, however, and it’s going to crush any well-meaning older sibling twofold because they might not be over their own pangs and wounds and resentments. Still, misery loves company, and as much as it kills us to see younger siblings suffer, at least now we both know we’re not alone.

9. Dealing with the fact that the expectation for older siblings to settle down is always at a premium.

Older siblings are a lightning rod for that holiday gathering question everyone hates. Nobody ever makes a beeline for the little sibling who’s been dating someone since middle school at holiday parties. It is always the oldest sibling who gets asked, “So, when are you going to have a family of your own?!” After all, they’ve been out in the real world longer (theoretically), they’ve gotten the most experience babysitting their little siblings (theoretically), and they’re the ones who are (theoretically) bound to do everything first all over again. And when your siblings do finally get married and have kids of their own, if you have yet to do this, you’ll still be asked the same question but now, it will be tinged with pity and that knowing sense that yes, dear, there’s still time for you.

10. Being called “bossy” while younger siblings “assert themselves.”

These are two sides to the same exact coin, but everyone loves an underdog. Not everyone can have the euphemism. This is the cross older siblings have to bear.

11. Doing the grunt work of getting parents to acquiesce to a request.

They would beg for a puppy, for Gushers in the lunchbox, for a playdate… whatever it was, chances are the older sibling had their sights on it for a long time. They’d work at that request like your parents just needed to be worn down for some reason, every older sibling I’ve ever met is the kind of person who does not take kindly to “no” and bring in the younger sibling with a well-timed request for the same thing. Usually, your parents were so tired of being asked that they’d crumble at the fear that the second kid was now in on the request, too. (This is how your older sibling taught you about the magic that is teamwork. They were the bad cop. They took that rap for the lil’ good cops everywhere.)

12. Protecting their little siblings fiercely.

This is twofold in that most older siblings learned how to throw a punch in case the younger child ever needed somebody to stand up to a bully for them, but they were also the ones who put two and two together and understood when to protect their younger sibling’s innocence. Older siblings would make their little siblings sing and read stories when their parents got into a fight, or would corner dubious significant others in confrontations worthy of Hollywood rom-com plot twist.

13. Dealing with being the “less cute” kid.

It doesn’t matter who is ostensibly more conventionally attractive the younger you are, the cuter you’re going to be. (Google “Chris Hemsworth Liam Hemsworth” if you don’t believe me. Go on. I’ll wait.) This begins when the older kid is shunted to the side when the new baby comes into the fold, and it never really leaves. The older child was never the precocious one after all, they were older and wiser, so any tricks they had up their sleeve were simply attributed to age. Little siblings could get away with murder because they were cute. Do you know how much your older sibling would give for that kind of trump card? All. They would give all.

14. Easing their parents into the unknown world of an empty nest.

After all, they’re the one who are usually given the chance to leave home first. They’re the one who have to deal with those first soul-crushing parental tears about the baby growing up. And while the older sibling doesn’t have to worry about your parents catching empty nest syndrome at your departure finally, something the younger siblings have to manage on their own! at least the younger sibling’s room isn’t the one that gets changed into a guest room. At least your bedroom is still the shrine to a younger yesteryear, regardless of how embarrassing that shrine may be.

15. And at the end of the day, usually being the ones who have an indestructible sense of home.

No matter how far they moved, or how much of their own lives and family they’ve crafted for their own, older siblings will always know when to fly home, and how to bumrush a plane counter to do so. They’re the ones who wax most nostalgic on Throwback Thursdays, the ones who do the most elaborate birthday posts, and the ones who scheme big on doing things for Mom and Dad. They might not be there for every holiday, but they will always remember what it feels like to bring the gang back together like no time has passed at all.

Read more about love, family, and the bond between siblings here.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/ella-ceron/2014/02/15-things-younger-siblings-dont-know-their-older-sibling-did-for-them/

82 Generic White Guy Names And What They Say About His Personality

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1. Todd: Wears loafers. Knows specifically what Ralph Lauren line looks best on him.

2. Garrett: Wears glasses, doesnt need them.

3. Will: From the Northeast, played lacrosse in high school and thought he would be recruited, but wasnt. Always slightly shorter than you want him to be.

4. Chad: Evil.

5. Brian: Super picky eater. His girlfriend will always end up financially supporting him.

6. Bryan: Totally different from Brian. Wears a lot of Hawaiian shirts.

7. Ryan: Never texts you back because hes perpetually on some comedy tour.

8. Ross: Not conventionally attractive, but super fucking funny.

9. Chase: Joined, like, a super niche indie band and plays the bagpipes and some other instrument nobody has ever heard of. Lives in Europe now because Europeans appreciate the arts. Whatever, .

10. Colin: Lives in Patagonia fleeces, no matter what temperature it is outside.

11. Greg: That guy who shows up uninvited to things. The target to be roasted in all group texts. Handles it like a champ.

12. Phillip: Literally always at GameStop.

13. Kurt: Youre friends with him because he has a car and never seems to be doing anything so he always will give you a ride.

14. Connor: Perpetually heartbroken.

15. Jack: Republican.

16. John: Got straight-As in high school and then started drinking in college. Hasn’t stopped drinking since.

17. Ian: Plays World of Warcraft and drinks Monster energy drinks. .

18. Spencer: Went surfing once, puts the surfer guy emoji next to his name when he puts his name into your phone.

19. Martin: Is uncomfortable not wearing some kind of argyle print somewhere on his person.

20. Adam: Hes that guy who comments in public Facebook event pages why he cant attend. Adam, nobody in The Chainsmokers: Metro Nashville Area cares that youre bummed you cant go because youll be visiting family in Seattle that weekend.

21. Rob:

22. Cam: Always texts you about wanting to drop acid on a weekday.

23. Cameron: Puts Feminist in his dating app profiles so he can get laid.

24. Josh: You probably met him at a music festival. He will use any opportunity given to take his shirt off. He owns and wears colored, plastic wayfarers.

25. Jeremy: Only owns sleeveless shirts.

26. Aaron: Uses Magnum condoms, doesnt have to.

27. Chaz: Always trying to bring Chaz back.

28. Austin: Works at Equinox, didnt actually *officially* graduate from USC (one unit short). Every profile picture he has on Facebook is with girls.

29. Jared: Loves vodka Red Bulls a little too much.

30. Michael: Peaked in high school, .

31. Mike: Will shame you for getting too drunk.

32. Matthew: Always threatens to “write about you” in his future book.

33. Matt: Hits on girls who are way out of his league.

34. Paul: Has a 401k straight out of college. Has a Bible verse tattooed somewhere.

35. Blake: Will literally do anything to make people laugh at parties. Once licked a banana slug on a dare.

36. Dillon: Thinks he’s a lot hotter than he actually is. Never successfully uses “there/their/they’re” correctly.

37. Dylan: Parents are stoners.

38. Dave: A you dont seeing it coming fuck boy.

39. Daniel: Somehow always playing an acoustic guitar.

40. Dan: Hot. Can cook.

41. Sam: Constantly telling people that he’s a really good guy. He’s pretty mediocre.

42. Stewart: Wears a lot of sweater vests.

43. Alex: Will sing for a girl on the first date.

44. Alexander: Has been doodling anime on random pieces of paper since he was in 5th grade.

45. Alec: He invites you to his DJ gigs all the time.

46. Beau: Total goofball.

47. Zachary: Big fan of .

48. Ben: You cant say anything bad about him, but at the same timeYou cant really find anything great to say about him either?

49. Derek: Still in his skateboarding phase.

50. Tom: Gets, like, personally offended when people cheat or play even the simplest games the wrong way. Used to cry when his middle school basketball team lost.

51. Jim: Peaked playing intramural frisbee in college.

52. James: Either is British or wants to be British.

53. Zack: Raised in a super nice upper-middle class suburb and got two girls (who were friends) pregnant.

54. Mark: Accidentally snuck into a really cool group of friends. Nobody knows how.

55. Jesse: He loves the Fast and Furious franchise.

56. Billy: Peaked when he was 14, still acts like he is 14.

57. Dick: Lives up to his name.

58. Jeffrey: Reeeeeally loves his Mom.

59. Reid: Named his bong Mike Wazowski.

60. Alan: Always sounds like hes talking through his nose.

61. Andrew: The guy you fall in love with. Wears a lot of flannel.

62. Kyle: Wears white mid-calf socks, no matter the occasion.

63. Jason: Wants to date you, but you dont want to date him.

64. Jacob: Constantly talking about how much he loves San Fransisco. Can speak French.

65. Jake: Instantly tells you youre splitting the check at dinner.

66. Nathan: Does improv.

67. Eric: Always wants to take you on a hike. Loves to bring his golden retriever who is great off leash.”

68. Erik: Constantly telling you its Erik with a K. Thinks hes the most unique person in the world. Always in a beanie.

69. Steve: Super into climbing. Just a touch granola, but it would take getting to know him really well to figure that out.

70. Stephen: Went to Duke, won’t shut up about it.

71. Steven: Cannot help himself and needs to argue with people in the comments section of things.

72. Travis: Has a butt chin.

73. Trevor: Has an Apple Watch.

74. Brady: Great Instagram aesthetic. Lots of pictures of him on a boat.

75. Brenden: Wrote you a song about how he loves you.

76. Kevin: Settles down really fast, is the first of his friends to be a father.

77. Ethan: Will wear a backwards hat until he is 45.

78. Tucker: Shaves his head whenever his sports team wins anything.

79. Nick: Constantly refers to himself as a “legend,” rarely does anything that qualifies as legendary.

80. Chris: Your boss.

81. Peter: Refers to sex as making love.

82. Patrick: Likes every post you put on your social media.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/katie-mather/2016/08/82-generic-white-guy-names-and-what-it-says-about-their-personality/

50 Tiny Things Every 20-Something Needs To Realize

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1. Your parents only want what is best for you.

2. You can’t change your body type.

3. Meditation actually works.

4. You aren’t fifteen anymore.

5. Talking about someone behind their back isn’t going to make you look anycooler.

6. You aren’t going to have the same friends that you did when you were six. And that’s ok.

7. People grow apart.

8. Just because someone tells you they love you, doesn’t mean theywill mean it forever.

9. When you find love, don’t run away.

10. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

11. You are not as alone as you think.

12. Making a mistake is not the end of the world.

13. You’re allowed to quit a job you hate.

14. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something.

15. Sex gets better.

16. Travel while you are young.

17. Heartbreak is a universal feeling. And it’s not going to kill you despite what you might think.

18. Trust your gut.

19. You have to work at what you want. It’s not going to come to you.

20. Don’t get back with your ex.

21. Crying doesn’t make you weak.

22. You’re allowed to feel lost at this age.

23. You’re allowed to not know what the heck you are doing.

24. Work hard in school. It will be worth it.

25. Don’t let people who treat you badly back into your life just out of comfort.

26. When you say, ‘I love you’, mean it.

27. Your dream career may not be what you are going to do for the rest of your life.

28. Your dream guy/girl may not be who you end up with.

29. Online dating isn’t something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.

30. Love is always going to be beautiful.

31. Mental health isn’t something to joke about.

32. You’re allowed to drop everything and travel.

33. You are still so, so young.

34. You will probably have a quarter-life crisis one of these days, but I promise you, you will survive it.

35. Block your ex on every social media platform. Trust me.

36. If you are in love with someone, tell them.

37. Make mistakes. And then learn from them instead of beating yourself up about it.

38. Follow your own advice.

39. If you really want something, chase after it until you get it.

40. Being kind goes a long way.

41. Know your worth.

42. Don’t let people treat like you like a little kid.

43. How you see yourself is so important.

44. You can’t hide from your problems.

45. Tell the truth and come clean if you mess up. Don’t hide.

46. Grades don’t mean a thing in the real world.

47. Worrying more will not do anything to help you.

48. You need to surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself, not people that bring you down.

49. Don’t ever take anything for granted, especially the people who you love.

50. Say ‘I love you‘ as much as you can.

You should follow Thought Catalog on Instagram here.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/lauren-jarvis-gibson/2016/10/50-tiny-things-every-20-something-needs-to-realize/

You Dont Appreciate Her Yet But Youll Regret It When Someone Else Does

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You didnt see it but she spent a lot of time trying to find something perfect to give you. Only you didnt even say, ‘thank you.’

You didnt see it but her face sunk as you canceled plans again.

You didnt see it but she stared at her phone after a paragraph text and all you replied with was ‘K.’

You didnt see it but she cried herself to sleep because for some reason no matter how she tries, it just never seems like enough for you.

She doesnt ask much of you and accepts the little bit you have to give, while shes over here trying so hard to make you happy.

Because you dont see how happy you make her. You dont see her eyes light up around you. You dont hear how highly she speaks of you. In fact, you dont see her much at all. You dont see her value. You dont appreciate her love and her kindness. You expect it.

She never lets you down, yet all you seem to do is disappoint her.

She doesnt ask for attention, yet she gives you all of hers.

She misses you and you get annoyed because you think she’s clingy.

She says I love you, and you reply, I know.

Shes every first text because she wants to talk to you.

Shes every first like because she supports you.

Shes every first view on snap chat because shes wondering what youre doing but more than that wants to be a part of it.

Shes every share or tag in a meme because shes thinking of you.

What you both dont see yet is her future doesnt include you.

Because one day shell grow tired of trying so hard. One day she wont have more love left to give. One day shell realize you arent worth it. And its going to break her heart to walk away.

But one day shell meet someone who will give her everything you couldnt.

And when you realize, what she wont see is how much you miss her.

What she wont see or hear is how pretty you think she is now, with this new guy because happy girls are always prettier.

What she wont see is you typing a text only to delete it because you dont know what to say but you want to.

What she wont see is how you saw something and thought of her and wish you could have got it.

What she wont see is how lonely you feel without her, as you lay alone wishing she was next to you.

What she wont see is that realization of how happy she made you, only it took losing her to see it.

And youll wish you never disappointed her or let her down. Youll wish I said ‘I love you’, even though it took until now to realize it.

Youll miss every text and like and snap and share.

Youll wish you never took her for granted.

And as you follow her life, as often as you do, when she posts that picture of her and her forever, youre going to hate yourself because it could have been you.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/kirsten-corley/2017/01/you-dont-appreciate-her-yet-but-youll-regret-it-when-someone-else-does/

21 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Teacher

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1. The club is not going up on a Tuesday…or a Friday for that matter. Weekday nights (yes, including Friday) are not nights for going out. We will be asleep by 8pm, so Netflix and Chipotle are a better bet than anything that requires pants.

2. We will have the best stories to share with you over dinner and drinks. Youll start to look forward to these anecdotes every day – there is literally never a dull moment.

3. The topic of state tests and/or teacher evaluations will send us into a tizzy. Unless you want to hear us rant for twenty minutes, dont mention either of these things.

4. We are ridiculously easy to shop for when it comes to the holidays. White board markers, stickers, those colored Flair pens – basically, just fill up a tote bag with items from Staples and we are happy.

5. Coffee is essential to our existence. Preferably in I.V. form. Buy us coffee, and youre halfway to our hearts.

6. Our work will never be able to stay at work. Youll find us correcting papers on Sunday afternoons, lesson planning on Saturday mornings, and answering student emails all the time (most likely with questions weve already answered ten times in class.)

7. If you say, Do you want me to grade some of those vocab quizzes for you? – we will fall in love.

8. Youll come to know some of our students on a first-name basis and find yourself asking, Did Jimmy have his homework today?

9. Well start out ironically watching Pretty Little Liars, because thats what all our students watch, but then well eventually be hooked. WHO IS A?!?!

10. Places like Forever 21 and H&M become off limits on the weekends because we are guaranteed to run into students there.

11. Speaking of, if youre out in public with us and we run into students, be prepared to feel like a celebrity running from the paparazzi. Kim Kardashian, we feel your pain.

12. We are obsessive list makers. Bullet points are sexy, arrows are sexier.

13. Your, youre, their, theyre, there – know the difference, or dont even bother to date us.

14. We can spend legit hours in stores like Michaels and Homegoods, and we need to be pried away from the office supply section of Target. Wait are those stencils??!!!

15. We love the excuse to purchase stuffed animals and other little kid things just to decorate our desks and make them friendlier.

16. Please accept this apology in advance – well start talking like teenagers. Phrases like on fleek, sick, and totes, will find their way into our daily vocabulary. We cant help it.

17. If you ever insinuate that our job is easy because we have summers off, it will be the end of our relationship. Have you heard of professional development, bro?

18. As much as we love molding the minds of our students, we look forward to test and quiz days because it means a break from listening to ourselves talk.

19. Oh that? Thats just dried Elmers glue on our jeans. Nbd.

20. Yes, we do need to get gel manicures every couple of weeks because our nails would chip within an instant of walking through our classroom doors.

21. We may complain a lot, but we do love our job. Please let us vent, because we work really hard to keep our sh*t together during the day and its not always easy. If we vent to you, its because we trust you. And thats a good thing.

thumbnail image – Shutterstock

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/de-elizabeth/2015/03/21-things-you-should-know-before-dating-a-teacher/

You Never Dated Her, But You Still Broke Her Heart

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Unsplash / Levi Guzman

You didn’t date her, but you told her how much you liked her. Whenever you saw her, you told her how pretty she looked and whenever you spent too long without her, you told her how much you missed her.

You didn’t date her, but you texted her from the moment you opened your eyes until the moment they closed. You made her feel wanted with yourwords, you made her feel special by giving her large chunksof your time.

You didn’t date her, but you shared your secrets with her. You told her things no one else knew about you. You treated her like she meant something. Like you actually cared about her, like you wanted to keep her in your life.

You didn’t date her, but you cuddled with her. You kissed her. You slept with her. You saw her at her most vulnerable and made her feel safe.

You didn’t date her, but you gave her every reason to think that one day, you date her. You made her believe it was only a matter of time until you two became a couple.

You didn’t date her, but you still hurt her. Andyou should still take responsibilityfor what you’ve done.

It doesn’t matter whether you were her official boyfriend or if you refused to give your relationship a title. You still led her on. You still broke her heart.

So when you start dating a new girl, don’t act like she’s crazy or clingy or obsessive. When she asks questions about why you’ve been acting so distant, don’t blow them off and say something like,

Technically, it’s true. But at the same time, it’s not. Because you let her get close to you. You let her fall in love with you.

No, you didn’t date her, but you became emotionally attached to each other. You created a serious connection.

That’s why shedeserves an explanation. She deserves closure. She deserves to hear why you decided to leave, to move onto some other girl, instead of having you drop out of her life as if she never meant anything at all.

Because if you do that, she’s going to question every moment she shared with you. She’s going to look back and reinterpret all of your conversations, your looks,your body language.

She’s going to think she’s a complete idiot for ever believing you cared about her. She’s going to assume shemade everything up.

You might think it isn’t your responsibility to answer her questions, because she isn’t your girlfriend and she never was.

But, the thing is, you her like your girlfriend.

She’s not psycho for feeling like you betrayed her.She’s not crazy for wanting to know what went wrong, for wondering why you lost interest in her and found someone new.

She deserves to know.

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Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/holly-riordan/2017/05/you-never-dated-her-but-you-still-broke-her-heart/

To Every Girl Who Has Ever Lost Herself To A Toxic Man

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All it took was one day, one day where I had enough courage to walk away. Walking away was the best decision I have ever made, I had let someone take so much from me, and if I didnt have the courage to walk away I dont know where I would be today.

I dated someone who made me lose my self-worth.

I lost my smile that once lit up any room I walked into because he couldnt stand to see me happy. My smile was a bother to him. Once he charmed me into falling for his act he knew he had me hooked and he knew he could manipulate me. He knew he had me wrapped around his finger and he knew I wouldnt leave. Because of him, I couldnt even look at myself in the mirror anymore because he made me feel lower than I ever knew was possible.

I dated someone who made me lose my self-confidence

Because of him, I lost my self-confidence and care-free attitude. I was the girl that didnt deserve to be told compliments because I didnt need them. Because of him, I felt worthless.

I dated someone I thought I knew.

I spent so much time convincing myself that he was going to go back to the man I had first met that I was completely oblivious to the fact that it was impossible. I so badly wanted to believe that it was all just a phase, but it wasnt.

I dated someone who I didnt even know who he was.

The man I first met wasnt him; it was who he wanted to be perceived as. He turned out to be nothing but a liar and a cheater. I constantly made excuses for him and disregarded his wrongs. I wanted him to so badly be the man he pretended to be that I was blind. And because of this, I made our relationship picture perfect on Instagram. I thought if I made it look perfect then it would be perfect. Because of him, I lied to everyone that asked me how we were. I lied because I thought if I lied about it enough it would be the truth. I deliberately chose to ignore all the signs because all I wanted to do was see the best in him.

I dated someone who made me question everyone.

Because of him, I realized that maybe some people just dont have any good. Because of him, I stopped being the person who saw the best in everyone. The person who gave everyone the benefit of the doubt.

I dated someone who was incapable of loving anyone but themselves.

I thought if I just brushed everything aside and loved him with everything in me that it would make him love me back. It took forever to understand but I now understand that it is impossible to make someone love you who only knows how to love themselves. Because of him, I felt alone while being physically next to him. I was dating a man who refused to kiss me and refused to look at me. Because of him, he made me feel unworthy. No matter how many times I had a huge smile on my face and was excited to see him, I was never worth looking at. I was dating someone who intentionally put me down so he could have the power. It was like it was a game to him; the worse he could make me feel, the better it made him feel.

I dated someone who I let manipulate me.

Every time he bailed on me or ignored my calls he somehow made me feel as if I deserved it. He made me feel as if I didnt deserve to be spoken to. Every time I questioned him cheating, he somehow turned it around to me. It was my fault he hid things because if I trusted him, he wouldnt have to hide it. It was my fault he messaged girls on social media because, if I trusted him, it shouldnt matter who he talked to. He manipulated me into believing I was the crazy one.

I was dating someone who was jealous of me.

Because of him, I stopped greeting everyone with a smile who I made eye contact with because he was jealous so many people knew me. Because of him, he made me feel guilty for being friendly. Because of him, I was a whore for knowing so many people of the opposite gender. Because of him, I convinced myself I must really be a whore if he says I am a whore. Because of him, I stopped being my bubbly self in order to try to make him love me. Because of him, I thought if I made myself less of a person he would stop making me feel guilty for being me. Because of him, every time someone complimented me on something I didnt want it to be true. Because of him, I wanted to be less of a person than I am.

I dated someone had to put others down to build himself up.

He was the guy who was always in a relationship. He was and still is the guy who jumps immediately into a new relationship because he cant survive without manipulating someone. He is the guy who jumped into a new relationship 4 days after we had broken up. I truly feel sorry for the girl he is with (and the girls after her) because he will continue making girls feel the way he made me feel. He will never be happy with himself and the only way he knows how to try to fill the void within him is by putting others down.

I dated someone who made me stronger.

Because I left him, I feel even more empowered than ever. Because I left him, I remember what its like to be the girl who is always smiling but I remember the person who took that away. Because I left him, I got my corky sense of humor back. Because I left him I have met so many people that admire me for who I am and don’t knock me down for it. And never again will I tolerate someone who does. Because I left him, I know what it feels like to be truly loved.

Because it was in leaving him I learned to love myself again.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/aj-ecton/2017/02/to-every-girl-who-has-ever-lost-herself-to-a-toxic-man/

Wait For The Guy Who Doesnt Make You Wait Anymore

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Wait for the guy who tells his friends he’s with you when you first start hanging out.

Wait for the guy who isn’t afraid to post a photo with you first on social media.

Wait for the guy who calls you unexpectedly to make plans instead of texts you back and forth for hours without getting anywhere.

Wait for the guy who shows up to at your door step with something small that made him think of you.

Wait for the guy who opens the door for you and let’s you order first.

Wait for the guy who offers you the last piece of pizza, even if he really wants it.

Wait for the guy who learns all your favorite music and buys you concert tickets for the two of you, even if it’s not his favorite band.

Wait for the guy who shows you off, who proves to you how much you matter, who isn’t embarrassed of you at all and who thinks the weird, little things you do are cute.

Wait for the guy who loves you for you.

Wait for the guy who proves to you just how much you mean to him because you shouldn’t have you keep holding your breath for someone who isn’t showing up. Don’t keep hanging on to the guy who has proved over and over to you that he’s no good for you. Don’t keep telling yourself things will get better and convince yourself you’re happy with him when you’re not. Don’t keep holding on to nothing you deserve so much more than that.

Wait for the guy who buys you flowers even after you tell him you don’t care for them. Wait for the guy who shows up to an event when you tell him he doesn’t have to come. Wait for the guy who helps you complete a task you keep putting off because he’s the kind of guy who will stick around.

Wait for the guy who won’t make you wait any longer.

Wait for the guy who steals your heart completely and has your best intentions at heart.

Wait for the guy who knows the little things truly are the big things.

Wait for the guy who drops you off coffee to work when you’ve had a rough start to the morning.

Wait for the guy who appreciates you and isn’t afraid to let you know how much you matter to him because you’re his whole world.

Wait for the guy who wants to make every turn in life with you by his side.

Wait for the guy who knows you better than you know yourself, who finds your weird habits cute, who tries to become a better person because of you and someone who makes you also want to be a better person.

That’s the kind of love you deserve, that’s the kind of love we all deserve someone who makes us feel loved, adored, wanted and important.

Wait for the guy who makes you look forward to not only tomorrow, but to the rest of your life. That is the kind of guy you should wait for.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/becca-martin/2017/02/this-is-the-kind-of-guy-you-should-wait-for-2/

When You Love A Person Who Comes From A Broken Family

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When you meet someone who comes from a broken family you probably wont know it right away. Theyll do their best to blend in, to watch their words, to make sure they seem like everyone else. Its a habit theyve picked up over the years. How easy it is to look like all the rest. How easy it is to perform the same dance and routine.

And what is missing? Its the question that continues to haunt them. Was it losing their parent at a young age? Was it the divorce, the abuse, the memories that can’t seem to go away? Was it because they had to grow up faster than everyone else? Not every broken person shares the same story and their story lives inside of them triumphantly defiant, an anchor holding the weight of their heart down, but the hollowness feels eerily similar all the same. They dont know how to quite pinpoint when it all seemed to fall apart. All they know is that they fell. Hard.

When you start dating someone from a broken family at first it might all seem too easy. That’s because it is. You’ll ask them about their upbringing, their background, what their family’s like, and without blinking they’ll gloss over the ugly details with just enough relevant information you’ll actually believe you’re getting the real story. It’s not that they’retrying to be deceptive or misleading. They just know it’s easier this way. For both of you.

They know no one wants to hear about the long nights spent in the hospital waiting room wondering if their father’s okay and no one wants to talk about how their mother fucked them up or how their sibling was an addict or about how the pain from a broken home still lingers in the back of their mind regardless how many times they will it away. No, none of these are great first date topics. Even second, third, fifth dates just never seem appropriate for this kind of insight into their life. They’ve inherently always felt strange, in a way they don’t know how to communicate, in a way they hope won’t make you walk away from them and deem them unloveable forever.

Inthe beginning they’ll keep it up– this nervous charade. Letting you in just enough to know the way their lips taste when they get drunk enough to kiss you in public but just far away you’ll never know what they’re like in the morning when their hair is messy and they’re quiet in their movements. It’s the game they play keeping you close enough to the wall but never so close you might actually get the chance to break through. It’s not fair, they know, butthey aren’t sure how to love someone in any other way.

By now they’ve learned the subtle way to bite the inside of their lip and let the blood flow when you mention your family, the home you grew up in, the holiday traditions you’ve known for years. These things make them uneasy, jealous, even a bit threatened, in a way you’ll never be able to understand. They don’t know what that’s like –to know you can go back to the same address you knew as a kid. They don’t know what that’s like – to know you can go back to the same people you knew as a kid. Stability has always come at a cost to them and because of that they’ve learned to never expect anything from anyone.

They’ll keep it up and keep it up until you’re both exhausted and weary, rolling around in bed sheets, laughing about something completely mundane, when they realize in a moment they’ve let their guard down. A moment that means nothing to you can mean everything to them. They’ve been longing for this – this undividedness and sense of belonging they can actually touch. So they think for a moment maybe this is a place they can get comfortable – the space between you and them isn’t that far, really, when they think about it. They wonder for a moment if they could even call this space with you home, and if, for once, they might actually have found something real, something tangible in another human being. Immediately they push the thought away and remember they’re not good enough for something like that. A home. Love. A relationship that could actually work. No, these are not the things that happen to bad people, to broken people, to people who come from an unconventional home.

So that’s what you must remember when you love a person from a broken family – there will be days when they simply feel like they don’t deserve you or your love or this beautiful life you’ve created together. It’s the feeling deep down on their darkest days that they’ll never be enough. When you love a person from a broken family don’t try to fix their issues or understand everything about where they came from – just a little bit of space for them flourish isall they need to grow.

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Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/koty-neelis/2015/05/when-you-love-a-person-who-comes-from-a-broken-family/