1. The club is not going up on a Tuesday…or a Friday for that matter. Weekday nights (yes, including Friday) are not nights for going out. We will be asleep by 8pm, so Netflix and Chipotle are a better bet than anything that requires pants.
2. We will have the best stories to share with you over dinner and drinks. Youll start to look forward to these anecdotes every day – there is literally never a dull moment.
3. The topic of state tests and/or teacher evaluations will send us into a tizzy. Unless you want to hear us rant for twenty minutes, dont mention either of these things.
4. We are ridiculously easy to shop for when it comes to the holidays. White board markers, stickers, those colored Flair pens – basically, just fill up a tote bag with items from Staples and we are happy.
5. Coffee is essential to our existence. Preferably in I.V. form. Buy us coffee, and youre halfway to our hearts.
6. Our work will never be able to stay at work. Youll find us correcting papers on Sunday afternoons, lesson planning on Saturday mornings, and answering student emails all the time (most likely with questions weve already answered ten times in class.)
7. If you say, Do you want me to grade some of those vocab quizzes for you? – we will fall in love.
8. Youll come to know some of our students on a first-name basis and find yourself asking, Did Jimmy have his homework today?
9. Well start out ironically watching Pretty Little Liars, because thats what all our students watch, but then well eventually be hooked. WHO IS A?!?!
10. Places like Forever 21 and H&M become off limits on the weekends because we are guaranteed to run into students there.
11. Speaking of, if youre out in public with us and we run into students, be prepared to feel like a celebrity running from the paparazzi. Kim Kardashian, we feel your pain.
12. We are obsessive list makers. Bullet points are sexy, arrows are sexier.
13. Your, youre, their, theyre, there – know the difference, or dont even bother to date us.
14. We can spend legit hours in stores like Michaels and Homegoods, and we need to be pried away from the office supply section of Target. Wait are those stencils??!!!
15. We love the excuse to purchase stuffed animals and other little kid things just to decorate our desks and make them friendlier.
16. Please accept this apology in advance – well start talking like teenagers. Phrases like on fleek, sick, and totes, will find their way into our daily vocabulary. We cant help it.
17. If you ever insinuate that our job is easy because we have summers off, it will be the end of our relationship. Have you heard of professional development, bro?
18. As much as we love molding the minds of our students, we look forward to test and quiz days because it means a break from listening to ourselves talk.
19. Oh that? Thats just dried Elmers glue on our jeans. Nbd.
20. Yes, we do need to get gel manicures every couple of weeks because our nails would chip within an instant of walking through our classroom doors.
21. We may complain a lot, but we do love our job. Please let us vent, because we work really hard to keep our sh*t together during the day and its not always easy. If we vent to you, its because we trust you. And thats a good thing.
You didn’t date her, but you told her how much you liked her. Whenever you saw her, you told her how pretty she looked and whenever you spent too long without her, you told her how much you missed her.
You didn’t date her, but you texted her from the moment you opened your eyes until the moment they closed. You made her feel wanted with yourwords, you made her feel special by giving her large chunksof your time.
You didn’t date her, but you shared your secrets with her. You told her things no one else knew about you. You treated her like she meant something. Like you actually cared about her, like you wanted to keep her in your life.
You didn’t date her, but you cuddled with her. You kissed her. You slept with her. You saw her at her most vulnerable and made her feel safe.
You didn’t date her, but you gave her every reason to think that one day, you date her. You made her believe it was only a matter of time until you two became a couple.
You didn’t date her, but you still hurt her. Andyou should still take responsibilityfor what you’ve done.
It doesn’t matter whether you were her official boyfriend or if you refused to give your relationship a title. You still led her on. You still broke her heart.
So when you start dating a new girl, don’t act like she’s crazy or clingy or obsessive. When she asks questions about why you’ve been acting so distant, don’t blow them off and say something like,
Technically, it’s true. But at the same time, it’s not. Because you let her get close to you. You let her fall in love with you.
No, you didn’t date her, but you became emotionally attached to each other. You created a serious connection.
That’s why shedeserves an explanation. She deserves closure. She deserves to hear why you decided to leave, to move onto some other girl, instead of having you drop out of her life as if she never meant anything at all.
Because if you do that, she’s going to question every moment she shared with you. She’s going to look back and reinterpret all of your conversations, your looks,your body language.
She’s going to think she’s a complete idiot for ever believing you cared about her. She’s going to assume shemade everything up.
You might think it isn’t your responsibility to answer her questions, because she isn’t your girlfriend and she never was.
But, the thing is, you her like your girlfriend.
She’s not psycho for feeling like you betrayed her.She’s not crazy for wanting to know what went wrong, for wondering why you lost interest in her and found someone new.
She deserves to know.